Ever feel like you’re shrinking yourself just to fit comfortably into someone else’s world? Like you’re constantly apologizing for taking up space, whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, asking for what you want, or simply existing loudly in a room? You’re not alone. There’s this weird, unspoken rule that women, especially, should be small, quiet, and endlessly accommodating. But guess what? That’s exhausting, unfair, and frankly, it stifles the hell out of your potential.
Taking up space isn’t about being loud or obnoxious. It’s about owning your right to be here, fully and unapologetically. It’s a radical act of self-respect in a world that often profits from your invisibility. So how do you start living bigger, without feeling like you need to say sorry for it? Let’s unpack that.
Why Do We Even Feel the Need to Apologize?
You might catch yourself saying “sorry” before you’ve even done anything wrong. “Sorry, can I add something?” or “Sorry to bother you” are phrases that slip out before we realize. It’s a reflex evolved from years of being taught that our needs and voices are less important. Family dynamics, school, workplaces—all these arenas subtly reward shrinking, staying quiet, not rocking the boat.
The problem is, apologizing unnecessarily sends a message to yourself and others that you’re somehow wrong for existing the way you do. It’s like you’re asking permission to be seen and heard, and that’s exhausting and demoralizing. You deserve better.
Own Your Space—Physically and Mentally
Ever notice how some people just seem to command a room by the way they sit or stand? It’s not magic; it’s presence. Taking up space physically can be the first step in mentally claiming your right to exist loudly.
Try this: sit with your shoulders back, feet planted firmly. Don’t cross your limbs in a way that makes you disappear into your chair. Make eye contact, breathe steady. This isn’t about being aggressive; it’s about being grounded. You’re here, you belong, and you’re not going anywhere.
And no, you don’t need to apologize for taking a bigger slice of the couch or holding your head high. Your body language is a statement, a form of self-expression, and it should reflect the value you place on yourself.
When You Speak, Speak Like You Mean It
Speaking up can feel like walking a tightrope. What if you say the wrong thing? What if you’re judged? That fear is real, but here’s the secret: your voice matters because it’s yours. When you speak, don’t dilute your words with unnecessary qualifiers or apologies.
Instead of “Sorry, this might be a stupid idea, but…” say “Here’s an idea I want to explore.” See the difference? You’re no longer begging for validation. You’re presenting yourself as someone worthy of being listened to, even if your idea is a little out there.
And if someone interrupts or talks over you, don’t let it slide. Call it out gently but firmly. “I wasn’t finished,” or “I’d like to finish my thought.” It’s not about confrontation; it’s about respect.
Set Boundaries Like a Boss
Boundaries are the unsung heroes of taking up space. Saying no when you mean no, asking for what you need, and walking away from situations that drain you—these are powerful ways of honoring yourself.
You might worry that setting boundaries will make you unpopular or cause conflict. That’s a risk, sure, but not setting them often leads to resentment and burnout. You can be kind but clear. For example, “I won’t be able to take that on right now” is a complete sentence; it doesn’t require an apology or explanation.
Taking up space means you protect your energy and time fiercely. It’s not selfish—it’s necessary.
Celebrate Your Wins, Big or Small
One of the sneakiest ways we shrink ourselves is by downplaying achievements. Got a compliment? Brush it off. Finished a project? Act like it was no big deal. But every time you do this, you’re telling yourself that your efforts aren’t worthy of celebration.
Try this instead: own your accomplishments. Post them on your mental scoreboard. Tell a friend or even yourself, “I did that.” It’s not bragging. It’s acknowledging that you have value and that what you contribute matters.
Surround Yourself With People Who Get It
This is less about you and more about your environment. If your inner circle constantly makes you feel small or guilty for expressing yourself, it’s time to reconsider those relationships.
Seek out people who encourage you to take up space, who celebrate your voice and respect your boundaries. Communities, friends, mentors—these allies remind you that being unapologetically you is not only possible but necessary.
If you want to dig deeper into living authentically and embracing your space, check out this insightful resource on discovering your true purpose in life. It’s a game-changer for anyone tired of playing small.
Practice Self-Compassion (Even When It’s Hard)
Owning your space feels vulnerable. You might feel awkward or exposed at times. That’s normal. When you stumble—maybe you over-apologize or take a step back out of fear—don’t beat yourself up.
Self-compassion is the antidote to shame and self-doubt. Talk to yourself like you would a friend: “It’s okay. You’re learning. You deserve to be here.” Those little kindnesses build resilience and confidence over time.
Reclaim Your Time
How often do you find yourself saying yes to things you don’t want to do, simply because you feel obligated? Reclaiming your time is a radical act of taking space.
Start by noticing where your time goes. Are there commitments, people, or habits that drain you? Can you say no? Can you carve out time to do what fills you up?
Time is one of the most valuable currencies you have. Spending it on yourself is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.
What Does It Look Like to Take Up Space Without Apologizing?
It looks like you walking into a room and feeling like you belong—not because you have to prove it, but because you know it. It sounds like speaking your truth without backpedaling or softening it. It tastes like savoring your successes, boundaries, and quirks without guilt.
Taking up space is messy. It’s uncomfortable. It requires practice and patience. But it’s also liberating. It’s a way of saying to the world and to yourself: I am here, I matter, and I will not apologize for it.
So next time you catch yourself shrinking, apologizing for your existence, or dimming your light, pause. Take a breath. Remind yourself that your space is yours—not borrowed, not temporary, but rightfully claimed.
If you want to explore more about living boldly and finding your place in the world, this page on how to live with purpose every day might give you some fresh perspective.
Taking up space is a revolution in self-love. It’s the beginning of a life that feels honest, true, and wonderfully yours. And isn’t that exactly what you deserve?
