Purpose is one of those slippery concepts that feels like it should be straightforward, but once you start digging, it gets wonderfully complicated. People often talk about purpose as if it’s this fixed destination—a North Star that never flickers or fades. But life begs to differ. Purpose doesn’t stay put; it morphs, it bends, it adapts. Yet, somehow, at its core, it remains unshaken. That tension between change and constancy is what makes purpose such a fascinating, living thing.
When I say purpose changes shape but not essence, I’m talking about something deeply human. Think about your own life. Maybe you believed your purpose as a kid was to be a doctor, or a rock star, or maybe just to make your parents proud. Fast forward ten years, and that purpose might have twisted into something else entirely—perhaps caring for family, guiding others in your profession, or advocating for a cause you never expected to care about. The outer form shifts, but the heart of what drives you stays intact.
The Shape-Shifting Nature of Purpose
Look at any long-lasting relationship or project you’ve been part of. The way you interacted or what you aimed to achieve at the start wasn’t the same a year later, let alone after five or ten years. Purpose is like a river, not a rigid statue. It flows, carving new paths, adjusting to the landscape around it. If it were rigid, it would break under pressure; if it were fixed, it would become irrelevant as life moves on.
How often do you hear people say, “I’ve found my purpose,” as if it’s a one-and-done kind of thing? That’s rarely how it works. Purpose is more like a conversation you have with yourself, one that evolves as you collect experiences, face setbacks, and meet new people who challenge your worldview. The shape of purpose responds to context. A parent’s purpose might feel different when their children are toddlers versus when those kids are grown and independent. A career purpose might shift after a burnout or a revelation that your work matters in ways you hadn’t realized.
In other words, the how of purpose changes. You might start by wanting to be a teacher because you love helping kids. Over time, maybe your actual purpose becomes creating educational content online or advocating for policy changes in education. The goalposts move. The form takes on new faces. But the why—that core reason for your purpose—persistently hums beneath the surface.
The Essence That Refuses to Budge
If purpose is a river, then essence is the water itself. It’s what gives the river life and energy. Essence is the fundamental drive, the “why” that feels essential to your identity. It’s not about the job title, the external accolades, or even the specific outcomes you chase. Essence digs deeper—into your values, your passions, your unique way of being in the world.
This is why people who lose their jobs, change careers, or go through dramatic life shifts can still feel a strong sense of purpose. Stripped of their previous roles, they don’t lose the essence of what makes their purpose meaningful. It’s still there, humming beneath the surface, waiting for a new shape to be born. You might not be the same person you were five years ago, but the essence of what drives you to wake up and do your thing remains a steady flame.
Let me ask you this: have you ever noticed how two people with wildly different lives can share a similar sense of purpose? One might volunteer in a soup kitchen, while another runs a tech startup focused on social good. Their day-to-day looks nothing alike, yet their essence—their desire to create positive change, to uplift others, or to leave the world better than they found it—is strikingly similar.
Essence is the unchanging core beneath all the exterior hustle.
Why Does This Matter?
Understanding that purpose changes shape but not essence can be a lifeline during times of uncertainty. When life flings curveballs your way and everything feels upside down, it can feel like your purpose has vanished into thin air. But it hasn’t. It’s just wearing a new outfit. This perspective helps you stay grounded rather than scrambling to “find yourself” again.
It also allows for a kinder, more forgiving relationship with yourself. Purpose isn’t a straight line to be nailed down perfectly. It’s a winding path with detours and surprises. Recognizing the difference between shape and essence means you can embrace change without feeling like you’re betraying your true self.
In a world obsessed with hustle culture and “figuring it all out,” this is liberating. You don’t have to lock yourself into a single identity or mission. You can evolve and grow. Your purpose will flex with you, not against you.
When Purpose and Essence Clash
Here’s a twist: sometimes, what you think is your purpose isn’t actually aligned with your essence. It can happen when external voices drown out your inner calling—society’s expectations, family pressure, or even your own fears. You might chase a purpose shaped by these forces, but it will feel hollow or draining.
This mismatch can cause a restless kind of dissatisfaction. You might achieve goals and receive praise, yet feel a gnawing emptiness. That’s the essence screaming, “This isn’t me.” The good news is that essence is stubborn. It won’t let you rest until you realign with it.
Navigating this clash requires brutal honesty and bravery. It means peeling back layers of conditioning and asking, “What truly matters to me?” Not what looks good on paper, not what pays the bills, but the stuff that stirs your soul. That’s where essence shines brightest, guiding you toward a purpose that feels both expansive and deeply personal.
Purpose in Action: Real-Life Glimpses
Take Malala Yousafzai, for example. Her purpose started as a fight for education in her local community. The shape of that purpose has shifted multiple times—from speaking out under extreme danger to becoming a global advocate, author, and Nobel laureate. The shape changed dramatically, but the essence—the belief in education as a fundamental right—has stayed rock solid.
Or look at someone closer to home. A friend of mine used to think her purpose was to climb the corporate ladder in marketing. After a few years, she realized what lit her up was mentoring younger colleagues and creating inclusive workplace cultures. She shifted her path, started her own consultancy, and found a new way to live her purpose. The outer form was different, but the essence—helping others thrive—never wavered.
Why We Need to Appreciate Purpose’s Fluidity
If we cling too tightly to a fixed notion of purpose, we risk frustration and paralysis. We might think we’ve “failed” if our purpose looks different from what we imagined. But life rarely offers that kind of neatness.
Purpose is messy, complicated, and dynamic. It asks us to be present, to listen, and to respond to life’s changes rather than resist them. The essence of our purpose is a compass, while the shape is the path we take. Sometimes the path winds through unexpected terrain, but it’s still leading us somewhere meaningful.
Maybe the secret lies in trusting the essence enough to let the shape go. To accept that purpose is not a rigid identity but a living relationship with what matters most. That’s a much richer, more resilient way to live.
If you’re curious to explore this more deeply, this resource about discovering your own deeper purpose might spark some fresh thinking: a guide to uncovering personal purpose.
Purpose isn’t a trophy to be won or a box to check. It’s the quiet force that keeps shifting yet never leaves you stranded. Recognizing that can change how you live, love, and work. It opens up space for grace, growth, and a kind of freedom that is rare but entirely worth chasing.
